It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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