dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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