Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
