No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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