Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize