i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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