I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
