I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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