It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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