so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
