im holly from the hills drunk
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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