so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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