Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
