I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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