Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
