Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
