Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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