Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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