how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
