I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
