Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
