i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize