Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
