i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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