I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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