butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
