Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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