It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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