I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
