Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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