I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Oh god it's open bar.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
