Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
