I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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