I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
