using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
