8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Let's get the cat blown out
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize