she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
We're hate flirting, damnit.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
