you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
