Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
