NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
please come you make the beer taste better
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize