Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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