he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We need to rekindle our bromance
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize