just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
