I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
being pregnant is like rehab
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize