When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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