he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
