I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just fell off a train. Bad.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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