Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
