Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
