i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
