I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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