Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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