What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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