But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize