Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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