Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
