rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
