Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
