oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
