We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
