No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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