:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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