i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
