So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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