i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
