chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
